Whole Life Wasted

The Truth...nthing but the Truth

2011-04-16T11:25:00.002+08:00

Its been a long time since anything actually gets updated here...

juz my 5cents worth of my feelings on things..

You said u do nt feel secure...that my life is still long ahead of me...tt i may get to study, meet new ppl...tt u shldnt be unfair to me n to u.....but isnt love selfish??

You're afraid that if we are tgt, in future, i may leave u for a younger gal....a valid concern..however, i noe myself...i'll nv do such a thing to the person i love and care about..
I have a flaw....I dunno wad n how to put my feelings into words...if u can feel hw my actions are towards u, those are my feelings.....theres nthing words can describe on hw i feel towards u....

wad cld i do to make u have a ease of mind that no such thing wld happen...i'm nt in the mood of playing in a r/s.....it makes both parties sad..so when i say i do wan to try it out..i meant it..
i'm juz afraid to tell u these..for i do nt noe hw was ur feelings towards me and did nt believe in myself that i cld be so lucky tt such a nice gal actually likes me at all...

Age is a factor, yes..but it is just a number...i view u as a gal tt i like (n starting to love) v much and has the urge to hide u under my cover...someone whom i wish to spend the rest of my life with....with tt, nthing else actually matters...everybody ages.....

Would u regret on things u did or things u nv get to do??

i'm a coward..if u had nt open up last nite, i wld nv have told u anything...

selfishly saying, it feels gd to have and to noe that someone back home is waiting for u while you're away, it gives motivation and keeps my discipline in check...

When u were toking to other guys, i suddenly felt a pinch of pain on the left of my chest...
i was also greatly disappointed when we din get any chance to eat tgt on one of the meals (in kota tinggi)
in the day, i'm always checking my phone for ur msg...when there is a msg, i brought a certain of hope to open the msg...n get v disappointed when its nt from u...
wad sort of feeling do u call tis??
i dun think when u only like someone, u get tis kind of feeling......

for the whole morning on the 7th april, was thinking of u...on the ops table, heard my phone rings...tot it was ur reply...when i found out aft the ops tt it was my colly, my heart practicaly sank......

all these stuff...i've got nowhere to unload...dun wish to force u into things u dun wan..thus my silence.........

u say i wld change aft my USA trip....
Remember our wager?? are u willing to bet on it??

i'll wait...i'll wait 2 yrs if tts wad it takes...

Refound feelings

2011-04-11T10:52:00.002+08:00

Something i pull out from my old old post....

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.

Some people make the world special by just being in it.

Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love.
A hug is just a hug until its from the one ur thinking of.
A dream is just a dream until u make it come true.

To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.
To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident...
To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

Wads left?

2011-04-11T10:50:00.001+08:00

WHEN I SAW YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO TALK TO YOU...
WHEN I TALKED TO YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO HOLD YOU...
WHEN I HOLD YOU...
I WAS AFRAID TO LOVE YOU...
NOW THAT I LOVE YOU ...
I'M AFRAID TO LOSE YOU...
YESTERDAY IS HISTORY...
TOMORROW IS A MYSTERY...
AND TODAY IS A GIFT...
THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED A PRESENT...

SOMETIMES LOVE HURTS...
BUT IF IT DOESN'T HURT...
THEN IT ISN'T LOVE...
HOLD ON TO THE PERSON U LOVE...
BEFORE THEY SLIP AWAY...
OR ELSE U CAN NEVER GET THEM BACK...

Target..goals

2011-04-08T08:39:00.001+08:00

My promise in a r/s: So long as you are true to me, i'll be true to u and stand by ur side...

as simple as that

是福不是祸，是祸躲不过

2010-04-30T19:07:00.003+08:00

haiz..bad things always come in pairs..

recently tt stupid stock market..damn diff to play..when i bought in..tt stupid greece come up with depts tt they cannot clear..stock markets crash..nw all my on hand are lousing stocks..though paper loss..however..its still money..

as if losing money is not enuff..recently there is an audit..i missed out smth..took it out and archive it away..however, tt thing is still valid..auditor found out.. gg to give me a Major NC..haiz..是福不是祸，是祸躲不过..聪明一世，糊涂一时..聪明反被聪明误

need a drink..

Silence of the Phone

2010-03-18T00:36:00.002+08:00

ITs been a long time since there's any beep from the phone for new sms, or a ring for a call..

my phone has turned into an alarm clock, a task reminder and an mp3 player.. instead of doing its primary job: to call, ring, n sms..

its a sad world..life's unfair..welcome to life

Jack Neo's incident - Food for tot

2010-03-14T09:49:00.002+08:00

As all singaporeans, and most likely even malaysians wld noe by now the scandal that surround jack neo..

What do u tink of it?

Here's wad i tot..
He has a very brave wife..
nobody, be it male OR female, shld be allowed to stray.. since u've decided to get married, both of u shld stay true to each other..aft my last r/s, i realised that a straying spouse/gf is smth i cannot stand..
and to those that gave violent comments..pls look at urself first..are u so sure that u have not done it urself somewhere in ur life??? i noe i din..i only had one gf..which din even last very long..n she did stray off..so..
but we shldn't add fuel to already burning fire..and adding salt to the open wound.. if u hate jack neo nw, look at his wife..pity the kids..留三分余地..

so..y do guys stray?? tis is a nv ending debate..its also the same as y do gals stray? dun be surprised, juz because they are not reported in the news doesn't mean there is no females that strays..there are more and more females tt strays off too.. juz tt the media is more interested in successful ppl..n in tt sector, its male dominated..and thus, it seems as if it only happens on guys..

My standard is very simple..juz someone whom i'm happy to look at and hu stays true to me..tts all i ask..

To those guys tat are cheating on ur gf..pls..give them to me, and u can stray all u want..here i am, single, and there u are already having a gf and nt cherishing it and being a bastard.. wtf was tt?!?! these guys ought to be slaugtered.

Airshow

2010-02-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

airshow coming up tis wk..i got my wkday access pass..it allows access from 2nd feb to 5 feb..however, i got parade on 2nd till 5th..like wth...

One of my snr recently asked me y am i so tune down..so quiet nowadays..my fren confirmed tt fact..saying last time i kp alot..on work or ppl or life..haha..
see wad reputation i have at work..Good Job GJ!!

Well, i guess for most part of it, i'm already too tired to be bothered..when the effort u put in doesnt bear fruits..once twice thrice quat..
to my frenz..if u hear me complaining abt work, bear with me..its the only 'life' i have nw..haha..its the only shit i can complain abt..

yest met a fren whom i havent met for ages..went for lunch..n found out from her tt one of my other fren was engaged..one juz changed 3 bf in a row..two were doing patch repair work..break n patch break n patch..its gd to catch up once in a while..n i also found out tt my ex teacher was married..to a diff guy..and she put less makeup nowadays..haha..(she used to put so much tt we used to make fun of her..a pad on the shoulder n u can see the powder flying off)
One reason might be her current husband gave her much self-confidence..haha

One of my snr most probably n most likely will be gg USA tis dec for 2 yrs..hopefully i'll be gg too..he's single..n he was calculating..when he reach there, he'll be 29..aft two yrs come back, he'll be 31..starting to worry abt the wife issue..

i guess ppl at diff age worry and think abt diff things..generally..at age 12, u worry abt ur psle..at 16, ur o's..at 18, army for guys..uni for gals..20, career for gals, uni for guys..25-30, wife/husband/career..40, ur kids..60, retirement/kids/family.. 70, illness..

for me.. at age of 12, i wasn't worry abt psle..i was slping on the sofa on the eve of the exams..hah..at 16, i start tinking of my career..at 18, i signed on..at 20, i started work..nw at 23..starting to worry tt i'll be single for life..haha..wth

its really bad to understand things abit too early..then u'll start reminding urself every nw and then n start worrying for few yrs..prematurely..

so moral of the story, things u shldnt noe, dun ask..when the time come, u'll find out..eventually..hahah..

Happy new yr

2010-01-01T10:34:00.003+08:00

GD DAY TO ALL..HAPPY NEW YEAR..

nw here's smth for tot..y is everybody celebrating new year?? wad is the cause of celebration?? new yr does it mean that what happen in the previous year will not happen to u?? all ur troubles and worries will be gone once the clock strikes 12?? or does it mean that you'll be a millionair once the clock pass 12?? so if all these doesnt happen, wad is the cause for celebration?? its juz the same old shit thats gonna happen again only on a diff year and day..

reality check..OK

2009-12-24T16:15:00.000+08:00

i tink i'm turning from good to bad n bad to worse..

Why work so hard?

2009-11-20T23:05:00.002+08:00

Here's a gd question asked by a snr: Why are u working so hard for?? is it for recognition, promotion, pb? If it is, why are u always rebuking ur supervisor when u find that u are right n they are wrong, but tt is wad they wanted.. cant u tell a lie n follow wad ur bosses want to hear? Are u gg to sacrifice ur future juz because of tt 一口气？

a very gd question..one reason why he shared with me is because he doesn't want me to end up like him..i like to shoot my mouth off on smth i find tt is not right.. nt because i like to argue..but it is nt my style..ask those ex-NCC members that was with me..

the above question also post another question..are u gg to turn back on ur believes and culture juz because u need to say wad ur bosses want to hear?
i tink, if u've already fuked it up, there's simply no pt in tuning down or changing anymore..cause u'll still be fuked up in their eyes..i really come to a pt whereby i really dun give a fuk abt the organisation anymore..the more u do, the shit u get..the more bombs u get..the more error u make..the easier for them to fault u.. at the end of the day, wads the pt? they need to change..they dun change ppl are gonna leave..n mayb tts y it is so fuked up..because all the capable are nt willing to stay due to all these bullshit ard..those that have nowhere to go are staying..those tt are fuked up are the ones leading u..i'll show them the middle finger and shaft a stick up their ass..

Food for tot

2009-11-01T09:23:00.000+08:00

i suddenly has tis tot yest nite..

What will u do IF u caught ur bf/gf or husband/wife in bed with another woman/man?

lets hear ur views..haha

Learn hw to FLY

2009-10-18T22:34:00.002+08:00

nthing much been happening lately..
or i shld put it as alot of things are happening but none of them are gg the way i want..haha

fri went drinking..AGAIN!! i shld really really stop doing tt..been doing it for past one month..think its abit too much alcohol..but wad to do..no body to go out with..
sat was supposed to go for kbox..however, last min 2 gals PS..left 3 guys one gal.. wtf.. n they din even say..only until we called..wtf..seriously, a person can changed so much aft into a r/s..

well, me on the otherhand..still single..still having tt fuk up attitude..nthing changes..ok..mayb it did when i had a gf..but that was past tense..n it was more then a yr ago issue..something which i shld get over with..

some frenz were telling me to go get a date..if it was tt easy, i wld already have one..nt tt i dun wan too..most prob have smth to do with my attitude n looks..

a few v gd nice female n male frenz were telling me hw i shld dress up, etc..even though they knew the effort wld be futile..but great effort put in.. haha

one colleague of mine recently told me hw much he regretted nt getting to noe more gals while he was in vball...

my history with gals doesnt always start off very well..cause of all my cursing n swearing n a dun give a fuk attitude..this hasn't changed..the last i checked..n i got proof..
went to Mt Stong on some frenz recommendation..there is tis gal hu seems to be happy go lucky kind too..it was only until aft the event, a few months later that she told me tt she tot i was a prick (not her exact words..juz summarising) up there in the mountain..leave it to me to make enemies on a altitude 2000 ft above sea lvl.. haha

they got to hand me a medal or wad.

sometimes i wonder isit really a gd thing to start working at 20..
its like, u're exposed to the world ard u..no more protection..naive is not gg to be an excuse..fall, pain, learn, pick up, stand, go, run, fly..

New Scheme, Same Work - 换汤不换药

2009-10-15T19:29:00.002+08:00

juz signed the contract..yet agn..
according to sources and statistic, 10yrs later, it will change agn..

its been more than a month since i last went out for movie or ktv or for dinner juz to tok cock singsong..
recently been gg for drinks and mahjong..abit unhealthy hor?? haiz

Miss Singapore Universe

2009-09-29T10:27:00.002+08:00

If u read enuff newspapers these days, u wld noe that there is currently a few scandals surrounding our miss singapore, Ris, 19yrs old.

They were talking abt her bad command of english, singlish, and credit card fraud now. Alot of comments are gg on abt shld she keep her crown or not. With many, even a MP, pressured the organisation to remove her crown. The organisation replied: Singaporeans doesn't pay for her. A round of applause for the organisation pls.. if u do not understand wad does the organisation means, let me explain to u..in very simple terms..it means: fuck off.

Now, normally i wun care less for these sort of things..esp when its female stuff.. however, tis wld be exceptional. we're toking abt singlish here. There is a difference between a bad command of english and singlish. Singlish itself, is a language. Like english, it has its own sets of verbs and adverbs, nouns and ways and method to complete a sentence. Why is it being damn by ppl? esp ppl living in singapore? Singaporeans are a special breed. They complain abt anything n everything. they are nv satisfied. All those who complaint abt singlish thinks their command of english is so gd that they can criticise other ppl. They are goddamn wrong. Pls look urself into the mirror.

To all those ppl that objected the use of singlish, let me highlight a few pts.
1st) U're nt that good urself.
2nd) The event was held in singapore and for singaporeans only, why shld our own language be condemn?? Picture China organising an event and tells everyone that chinese language is banned from usage.
3rd) Its our culture, we walks, talks, eats, slps and act like that.
4th) Even our english teachers speaks like this.
5th) Shldn't we be showing support to fellow singaporeans?

A 19yrs old kid, who has the courage to stand in front of the stage wearing practically nothing under the eyes of millions of viewers in broad daylight is very very daring. She has the balls to do it. DO YOU? If not, pls do not comment on it.
All those who think they are highly classy and top of the world ppl can go take a stick and sholve it up ur own ass first. Pls stop being a banana man/women.
If u really wanna be a eurasion, pls..migrate..ASAP..we can do without you. and we wun miss u. Tt's a promise.

Now, tis gal juz had a credit card fraud scandal. She stole a few credit cards and clock a heafty 8k bill. She was sentenced to probation. Even the court does not think this is a serious enuff offence to land her in girls home. Mayb i wld agree to the point that the crown shld be removed because of this incident.

However, one thing tt make me piss off is (mind u, i'm nt coming to the defence of the gal), i tot we are encouraging some yellow ribbon project??
May i ask this MP who commented.. wad does yellow ribbon stands for? What is the purpose of this project?
If i'm not mistaken, it means giving those jailbirds a 2nd chance. a chance for them to redeem themselves. for the company to rehire them. isit not true? So this 19yr old gal come by and tells the world that, i cheated once. But i've changed.
However, u gg to reply tt: nono, u cheated once, tts it, u're gone case.
Seems to me that this yellow ribbon project is a 'for show' thingy only. For goodness sake, give the gal a break..she din even went to prison in the first place.
Why does ppl always think of the bad portion first? they were afraid that tis wld damage our international label and image. Why?

Let me give u another version: Singapore is so kind that we give ppl second chances. As long as they are willing to change, we are willing to help. No matter where what and which.

See, there are always two side to how an image wld look. And there's always a first.
And i still like the ERM reply: Singaporeans did not pay for her.
Subtle but straight to the pt.

F1, Work, Studies, Forward thinking

2009-09-27T22:28:00.002+08:00

Why would anyone wanna pay a 700bucks ticket to watch the F1 race when u can just watch for free at some hotel staircase?? haha..did tt last yr..though the view is nt excellent..but u still get to see cars zoom by..n u still get to hear the loud noise.. plus, u can watch it live on TV!!

Work is still everlasting..n taking part time studies has come to my mind many a times.. there are however, a few worries..
1) Am i really gg USA nxt yr?
2) Can i still study after such a long break? plus i'm nt really the study kind
3) To see my 20K of hard earned money..juz get deducted from the acc..it is v heart breaking..
4) Will it really make a difference?

My mom says i tink too much.

She has tis theory now. A child my age, shldn't be placing too much emphasis on money. they are mostly happy-go-lucky. see something they like, juz buy. ended up with little or no savings. She thinks i save too much, but wldn't like me to spend too much too..haha

Right now, if i tell anyone that my spending is ard 300, their jaws wld drop.. i dunno why, but to me 300 is alot. for a single. inclusive of hp bills and transport fees.

Well, i just like to save up..to watch ur bank balance increase everymonth is a great feeling. u shld try it too.. but then agn, mayb i'm juz saving up to spend later. First of all, i wld buy a car. And if i'm getting married, a hse..follow by children. all these cost huge sums of money..

However, gg according to current status, looks like i'm gonna stop after the car part..

My mom likes to read newspapers. And forces us to read too.. well, reading newspaper let u noe wad is happening ard the world. Esp the money section. let u noe the importance of money. mayb tts where i started to have this habit..Plus, i've already been working for the past 2 1/2 yrs coming 3.. whereby my male frenz are still either in NS or studying. And my female frenz are either studying or juz started work. I'm the youngest at my work place.. the nxt age wld be ard 25 to mayb 50.. working with these age grps will give u more insight on the diff stages of life.. let u understand the diff problems of a decision. Ranging from Marriage to Housing to Wedding Dinner to Wife to Children to Old illness to Car to Leisure.

U practically get a fast forward view of everything that might or might not happen in ur life. With this kind of environment, how can u not think so much??

Now the hot topic is marriage and housing.

How to divide the wedding dinner share..how to satisfy both parties, how to buy a house before marriage, how to plan for marriage, etc etc..

One hse costing half a million.. i dunno how the hell are we gg to buy tt.. u'll need ur children to cont paying for u..housing nowadays are juz so ex..

working now is also not as fun as last time.. too much red tapes, too much bullshit, too much arrows, too many ppl trying to shine.. juz have a management change.. it was my immediate supervisor.. i've got the feeling tt it was worse then before..
One thing that history books always noe and which i just experience is: change is always nv welcomed.

Regrets amd Regrets

2009-09-22T16:38:00.001+08:00

人生短短几十年，不乘年轻，要等和时？

旧的不去，新的不来

好马不吃回头草

命里有时,终须有. 命里无时,莫强求

世上无不散之理

好汉不提当年勇

有志者事竟成

There are many fishes in the ocean. Y go for one?

在这世界上，痴情的人最吃亏

天有不测风云，人有旦夕祸福

不要把所有的蛋放进同一个蓝里

家贼难防

不怕虎怀三口，只怕人怀二心

人生的路是自己选的，‘听天由命’是一个很不负责任的借口

人善被人欺，马善被人骑

飞鸟尽良弓藏

有眼不识泰山

有意栽花花不发，无心插柳柳成荫

未知生，焉知死

恶有恶报，善有善报，不是不报是时辰未到

说了一个谎，你就必须要说另外一个谎来圆第一个谎，这个道理难道没人跟你说过吗？

得饶人处，且饶人

人不为己，天诛地灭

最重要的，不是爱上了谁，而是如何去爱

有人一生就好命，有人靠拼命。只要有心拼，一定能闯出一份天

if u cld turn back the time

2009-09-22T01:06:00.002+08:00

well, i was tokin to tis gal, thru msn of coz.. was like hinting y it din worked out.. n from her reply, found out tt i missed the opportunity..gave her room to think abt it..

oh well..

Opportunities only come once. However, sometimes u waited too long n u missed it.. n sometimes, u was too fast. Which one wld u rather have?

long wk end

2009-09-20T15:07:00.002+08:00

a super long wkend..but w no events..tt is v v depressing..haha..hibernate all the way..

MJ 2nite..shiok..

see open

2009-09-17T00:04:00.002+08:00

work still sux..but nw the diff is..i dun give a damn anymore..rather i get caught for nt doing anything then to get caught doing smth right..

this is the way tis fuking system works..live it, breathe it..most imptly, earn it (the money part)..

other than tt..been wanting to go ktv..for quite some time..everytime jio those idiots..all seems v bz..gt gf, bf all diff liao.. when dun have come find u to chitchat tok cock..tts life man..
actually, i was quite interested in the 'cyclohunt' event organise by nus..one reason is cause i might need to organise one for my workplace..can take the opportunity to noe some contacts..n see hw they do it..n learn frm mistakes..
however, sad to say..i kena put aeroplane twice..one is Boeing 777, the other is A380.. One fren come n jio me..tell me tis ar tt ar..v fun ar..aft tt tell me find my own team.. its like dangling a carrot in front of a rabbit.. actually, tis one cannot blame her la..i also lazy to find my team.. cause all my frenz nt v sporting one.. buay steady..

when i gave up trying to join up..another fren say she gian..wanna join..but got no team..i told her: ok..u can include me..then u find another person, i get the last one..at least got company.. i got my fren to join..nxt day ask her, she told me tt she got her own team liao..kns..haha..

so i guess i wun be joining afterall..

mayb i juz wanna suan her using tis chance..but above incident reminds me of a phrase: 希望越大，失望就越大 .

if u hope for smth v gd to happen..but end up it was nt wad u expected, u wld be v disappointed.. therefore, i always expect the worse..anything else is a bonus.. In tt case, u wld be happy..

however, this attitude cannot applies to all occasion..human beings are designed in such a way tt we need motivation.. disappointment is a motivation.. goals are a motivation.. achievements are best motivations.

We must always set a goal..a target.. n try for the best.. not hope for the best. If u only hope for the best, then u are nt putting in ur best n most effort into tt particular task. cause u think tt something somewhere miracles will happen.. it does happen, but nt all the time. and it doesnt seem to happen when u most need it. Things dun always go ur way in life. tts y its called life. No dictionary in this world can start defining what is life. It is defined by u n urself. made n written by u. There's no free lunch in this world.. There never was..everything comes with a price to pay..the only diff is: is it value for money?

Luck actually does plays a part. i have a defination for luck. It is actually the number of times u have to do the same task over n over again. Give for example, an experiment. if u are lucky, u get to do it once, and the result is good. If not, u have to do it over n over n over again. Though u can be very hardworking.. Tt is luck.

But a person hu is hardworking, but unlucky, tends to give up halfway.. this person will have to have a strong mentality in order to cont what he started.. y? tt is because he has already given up on hope. Hope is always the unknown factor. u wun noe what is going to happen, when n where n how. But one thing is firm. hope always finds its way to u.
Therefore, nv give up on hope..for hope has nv given up on us..

All these however, are easier said then done..

give up

2009-09-07T20:15:00.000+08:00

lets face it..i'm nt patically gd in r/s..so y nt give up trying to find one..

至少走得比你早

2009-08-29T12:19:00.000+08:00

你没有想过我会说分手
也许太喜欢我在你左右
虽然离开你有很多理由
可看见你这样惊讶也自过
你没有想过我会说分手
除非因为我什么都忍受
就算你这时候努力挽留
不过是你不能接受我先走
我想的比你多陪你一起更寂寞
我性格比你强怎能做你的绵羊
我年纪比你小不信快乐找不到
抬起头开了头
最后我比你骄傲
从此不做你的老
想不到你的好
记得和你的争吵
想到老可到老
可是和你做不到
如果你爱的比我少
至少我走得比你早
幸好我走得还早
轰轰烈烈的开口
轰轰烈烈的开口

sick n tired

2009-08-29T11:46:00.001+08:00

this wk at work had been hectic..
In this work force, there is alot of idiots hu got their rank by carrying balls..polish till shine shine.. met one newly promoted person tis wk.. tot he was ok..end up, a big disappointment..we both are working on the same environment..y do u wan to sabo each other? y make working for each other so diff?? juz because u wanna shine? fuk ur mother cheebye..

aft tt when i heard he reported me in his report, i was damn pissed.. it was respect n trust being betrayed..in front of me was smiling n laughing..behind take long knife n shaft it into ur back..笑里藏刀..no wonder chinese got so many different sayings about betrayer.. even compared them to tiger..'不怕虎怀三口，只怕人怀二心'

recently, send one item for approval..email was sent to me to direct it to approval only.. end up another higher management say y nv route to him for recommendation? End up, my fault..wtf..but nvm..i nv go read the orders..tis one i can take it..

all these happenings..everyday go there fight fire..wads the pt? might as well i dun work..might as well become fire fighter..knn.. no wonder so many ppl submitted ER.. doing so many diff kind of work n job scope..we cld indeed get better pay outside..

previously lagi power..got tis superior, he said: 'got any problems? highlight..its ok..this is a closed door session..i wun take down ur names'
wonderful promise n speech..i spoke..
given those hu noe me..u shld noe hw i cld have spoken..he was trying to implement something tt i find it time wasting and without any pts..
i gave my strong objections..end up, he find my direct superior and complaint abt me.. wtf..言而无信
n to tink i was so stupid enuff to fall for the trap..cb.. keeping my mouth shut on things i strongly disagree is against my principal.. tts y nw i avoid all these kind of talks n dialogue sessions..cause i find it pointless to highlight anything and time wasting..

i'm really tired of trying to guard my back..no matter hw u guard..someday, somehow, someone is gonna still be able to stab u..
tis is the period of time whereby i dread gg to work..first time actually..since i signed on..nw i am thinking: for wad i give up so much?
i lost my gf cause of this..cant find a gf nw cause of tis fuking job..
i juz feels like dropping dead on the ground..
but, i wun go down w/o a fight..u make things diff for me..i'm gonna seek my revenge..wan to play..i play w u..nw i'm gonna be MR HOSTILE.

recently, i saw a catalogue on recruitment for this job..it offers a scholarship monthly allowance of 1k!! it was the same scholoraship i took..but mine was only 600! A big diff of 400 every month..
showed tis to my suck cock buddy..he said cause nw nobody wanna sign..they using the ultimate weapon..then he post me a question: 'given tt nw i noe hw is it like in here..wld i still sign on then? with tis new scholarship of 1k per month'
i cant answer him..
it was a tough question..one side is money..the other side is the job scope..we're being treated as inhuman..they tot we were some cheap labour..n one yr dunno hw many audits..does the outside have so many audits?? no!!
once a year audit is fine..but nt every single possible day..it is damn tiring..

Currently, i've adopted a 'got work no work wait for the 10th' attitude..

i dun think its gonna change for the better anytime soon..

MISTAKE!!

2009-08-13T17:44:00.000+08:00

made a damn bad n stupid mistake yest.. morning went to buy a stock..evening time lose money go n sell..kao!! y did i go n look at it at 4pm!! knn..lost a hundred..though its small..but its smth tt shld nt have lost.. haiz!!

lets see wad other mistakes i made..

for one..i dun think i shld have strike so early..(nt toking abt shares)..shld have kept my mouth shut man..haiz..
well, at least, there seems to be no changes..so might still be alright..but hw to open my mouth n 'request' agn nxt time?? haiz..

kena some stupid parade thingy..i need sunblock lotion..n a massage..haha

To be able to slp is a blessing

song change

2009-08-12T01:44:00.000+08:00

on request..the original song was changed.. like my new one?? hahaa

2009-08-12T01:32:00.001+08:00

wa knn..formatted my comp 4 times.. gen liao..cb

一颗心交给谁

2009-08-10T13:37:00.000+08:00

我的一颗心交给谁
交出去会不会后悔
爱情的边缘一次又一次徘徊
我的一颗心交给谁
交出去能不能收回
付出了感情只怕换来是伤悲

过去我为爱流过泪
现在已锁上我心扉
孤单和寂寞习惯陪我心沉睡
是否该抛开是与非
再爱一次也无所谓
自从遇见你仿佛已经忘了我
忘了我是谁
我的心应该交给谁
交给你会不会心碎
迷惑的眼睛已分不清对不对

一颗心交给谁

MAHJONG

2009-08-07T14:22:00.000+08:00

LETS PLAY MAHJONG!!

boring

2009-07-30T12:54:00.000+08:00

recently things are getting abit too boring.. nothing to do whole day..juz eat n rot.. ever since last wed.. been sick..so stayed hm whole day..throughout the wkend..
nv tok so much cock also..nv been to work place since last thurs..haha..
today gonna be the first day..
when i woke up today, felt as if smth is missing in me..i tink i muz have missed my workplace..
it helps me to keep my mind on things..
tink i'm gonna go in abit earlier today..one wk of stuff to catch up n clear..hopefully there's time today..

IKC course

2009-07-28T17:48:00.000+08:00

all the port and wire cable, etc.. no doubt this guy teaches alot..but the impt question is... 'so?'

aft the whole course i still dunno why did they arrange them to teach such a course.. it has nothin to do with wad we are doing.. it doesnt teach us hw to hack into system.

however, these 2 days are shiok man.. reliving poly days..things like sign n run..n slping in lecture..
all of us have a common thinking.. studying is really so relaxing man.. only exam stress for that one period.. tts it..
unlike working..today stress on A, tmr stress on B..stress on wad needs to be done today..wad needs to be done tmr..
haiz.. 往事只能回味

if i din sign on..if all of us din sign on.. we wld be packing our sch bags, getting rdy for uni soon..
but then agn, we wld nt have enjoyed ur full pay for the 2 yrs on..
work or study..choose..
i'm nt really those study kind.. throw me a stack of notes n tell me to read myself, i'll most prob take the notes n sholve it up ur ***

last nite while chatting w my mom.. she mentioned abt some ppl are meant to study, while others juz cant study.. she gave an example like me..
haha.. being me, of coz i defended myself.. u see, ppl like me is nt cannot study..is choose nt to study.. if the returns is not more than what u put in, then i tink its a wasted effort.. so for wad u study until so high grad..

let me do a simple cal for those in uni..
for the purpose, we shall remove variable factors like pay rise, bonus..

below illustration is for guys..

the amt is also illustrated

lets say i'm drawing an annual of $25000
n those uni grad once they come out, they got a job..n a starting pay of 3K..tt wld be annual of $36000
sch fees for uni i believe wld be a 20k?? correct me if i'm wrong..

When u finished ur NS n UNI, i've already worked for 5 yrs.
Total Sum Lapse = 20000 + (25000 * 5) = $145000
u earned $36000 a yr.. while u start work, i'm also working..
Sum left = 36000 - 25000 = $11000

therefore, yrs u take to balance up on my pay= 145000 / 11000 = 13 yrs.

so, is it really worth it to study so much?? for so long?? nobody can actually tell until at least 10 yrs later..
i think tt is also y ppl take private..its only 1 yr.. n u pay the same amt..no??

well, for the females, cant say much..cause they dun have to go ns for 2 yrs.. tt saves alot of time..
since we're comparing..lets compare a female grad..from JC to UNI
n me, from POLY to WORK..
i started tis job at age of 20. by then i believe they've finished yr one in their uni.. shld left 3 more yrs..

Total Sum Lapse = 20000 + (25000 * 3) = $95000

Drawing the same pay as the guys..
therefore Sum over Mine = 36000 - 25000 = $11000
Yrs to draw even = 96000 / 11000 = 8 YRS

r/s

2009-07-19T15:28:00.000+08:00

wads the most scaring thing abt asking a gal to be ur gf??

rejection.. n the weirdness tt comes aft tt.. n the possibility that u both might nt even be frenz anymore..

hw do u give up when u nv even tried? i'll show u

tokin cock

2009-07-10T13:53:00.003+08:00

one of my female fren have tis theory on why females like to read romance stories..

Reason: Because they cant find it in real life, n therefore can only fantasis in stories..

nw tis is a v v dangerous theory..because wat is being illustrated in stories are afterall, stories.. they can have all sorts of imaginations.. n they have no cash limit, no other worries.. in real life, there is too many factors.. money, time, work, family.. these are only the 4 main factors..
therefore, when a female start demanding too much from their partner, quarrels is the end result..

when they read such stories too much..they start asking: 'why isn't my bf like tis?' 'why isn't he like tt?'

world war wld begin soon after...

wad shld a guy do then??
what CAN he do???

well, kill all these writers for one..
2) i tink tis is where we say gg (good game).. gone case in other words

seriously, unless u're super rich..or super nothin to do.. otherwise, its quite difficult to solve such cases..

i've come up with a few words tt link..

betrayal - romantic - spendthrift - money - no future

romantic - honesty - money - one sided happiness

down to earth - realistic - money - unromantic - happiness - family

let me juz elaborate on all these..

1) if you are romantic guy..chances of ur wife cheating on u will be minimal.. however, in this world, to be romantic cost money..(ie: flowers, rushing down, etc) this leads to u spending alot.. having no money.. n with no money, u're nothing..u have no future!! but u have a wife..
which i think the wife n u are both damn stupid..

2) how does romantic link with honesty?? let me enlighten u.. being romantic includes telling a lie here n there..tt wld be dishonesty.. so a too honest person is norm non-romantic..because he juz say wat he tinks..which is gd on most situation.. but u only need one bad one to fuk it all up!!

3) Being realistic, it wld meant tt sometimes somethings can be done..while others are juz luxury.. however, tis means tt u wld offend ur gf a few times.. but being realistic enables u to make the most out of ur time, family and money..tt means u have the fund to start a family in the end..n 'live happily ever after'

For my case..its rather difficult to find someone hu can understand my job timing.. hu can really appreciate the things being done.. hu understands my thinking.. i prefer to save up for the rainy days.. n for the futue.. i rather suffer nw than suffer later..
though i've made the necessary preparations to 'start a family', however, from wad i can see.. i tink i'll have nt be sharing these with anyone else..

tis is nt being emo..tis is being matter-of-factly..if there's such a word..

or mayb i shld try my snr style??

they only met once on tt day..2nd day became BGR..
tt was tis yr 1st of feb
14th of feb, VDAY, he proposed, she accepted..
june was their ROM..
power?

Mt Stong

2009-06-26T20:48:00.002+08:00

Chiong sua day.

It makes me wonder why did i really sign up for such events. all the chionging and shagness.. it was not until aft the first nite, when it rained so heavily that our tent was flood with water that i realise why i was there.

The trip had been fun. g8 to know the ppl in the trip.
This is the trip that i will always remember..cause my camera went for washing cum swimming session..but the most impt thing is..it survived!! HOORAY!!

so guys, buy nikon..trial tested n proven.. haha..

Therefore, my take away from this trip wld be: To find out what comfort you've enjoyed at home.

we've been staying in the comfort zone for so long that we tend to take things for granted.. such events bring you back to Earth and makes you treasure the things ard you.. services which we all enjoyed now.

work work

2009-06-15T22:24:00.002+08:00

one thing to note in working life.. u cannot fuk up.. once u fuk it up, tts it..
juz fuked it up myself.. been a simple honest mistake..but with those ppl walking ard w big spoons to stir all ur shit.. tts it.. u can kiss ur career goodbye..

at national lvl, they always turn the big issus to minor..minor to nothing..

internally, they always stir big.. from minor they make it to major..

too many of these fukers ard..

2009-06-04T23:18:00.002+08:00

480 days ago..i tot my world was at end.. everything was lost..

480 days later, i found things more worth than tt..

its gd to be naive n innocent.. dun try anything new.. for ur own good!!
speakin frm experience..haha

reminder

2009-05-04T22:03:00.002+08:00

some fren of mine showed some concern the other day.. worring that i wld fall into the 'bastard' guy category..

honestly..wads so gd abt being gd?? i've been gd for the past 22yrs of my life..n look wad i get! nothing!! empty handed..while all the 'bad' guys kio all the fruits..

well, i'm actually trying to learn hw to let go of myself..u noe..juz have fun! goddamn it..i am single for *** sakes..if i dun play nw wait until when i settle down then start? tts even worse rite? ahah..

问心有愧 can liao! haha..

sometimes i really dun understand wtf are the females tinking.. so many singles dun wan.. purposely muz find those married one.. dun always say its the guys fault.. tis kind of thing.. 你情我愿.. takes two hands to clap.. too bad the guy dunno hw to cherish his wife.. but the other party, since u already noe 还知情不误..choose to cont..or start for tt matter..

haiz..when ppl like me who are single, found out abt such things..the first thing is to give this ger a tight slap..haha..single dun wan find married one..kao.. 敬酒不吃吃罚酒

2009-04-17T20:00:00.002+08:00

i've finally removed those photos i kept in my wallet..

its an achievement!

红孩儿 - 故事

我们在雨中别离
说不定又会在风中相遇
白云说邂逅是一种伤心的美丽
就像那躲进河流的雨滴

终于你剪了长发
也终于我把相片都拆下
岁月说签名和留影都会都遗忘
谁不学不流泪谁是傻瓜

我们匆匆的来又匆匆的去
倔强的青春不就是一支脆弱的琉璃
我们匆匆的来又匆匆的去
在天涯留下寻的跫音

流浪以后才明白对你有一份痴心
慢慢学会了牵挂怕你哭泣没人理
当你开始怀念我的从前
故事会不会改变

i/c

2009-04-13T18:30:00.001+08:00

nw..doing a job of a ic is nt so easy..esp when nt everybody co-operates..but..its fun! haha.. keep me bz..

other than tis portion..nthin new..tts it..haha

2009-03-08T22:34:00.002+08:00

tis wkend pass by real fast..din do anything much..juz went for a fren bday party n stayed over.. tmr its monday again.. sibei sian.. tis workplace has unlimited work..

life recently is even more boring than a few months ago...everyday come hm, eat slp n do nthing.. sat sun are spent at hm rotting..

nw, tis kind of life cannot go on..it muz be changed! but there's no one to change it..

so i've come up w a new description of my life: eat slp n do nthing

Refuelling

2009-02-25T10:25:00.001+08:00

It looks like tis wk's gonna be my last wk doing the 'refuelling' job..gonna post back aft tis wk.. no more off day, no more 6 hours of job, no more a b. more 12 hrs job, more es, more sat!! omg!!

Genting trip

2009-02-24T00:36:00.002+08:00

Conclusion: Casino was fun!!

haha..won n lose n won n lose agn..kao..really need to control

nxt trip: bintan

last sun

2009-02-17T23:35:00.003+08:00

sat n sun was a 'stay hm wkend' for me.. din go anywhere..after a full sat of boredom, i decide to watch 'Corner with Love' 爱转角 on sun.. i noe i noe..its a damn long ago show..i now then watch..

its a very nice show..some portion of the show teach u abt life..

aft i watched tt show, i realised it was a mistake.. cause i really cant help it..i juz keep on tinking of my ex.. according to the show, if u treat the person as friend, u'll always rem their faces no matter where u or they go.. i found tis quite true..cause whenever i close my eyes, the first image will definetly be her.. it was abit faint for the past month..i tot i have forgotten..but tis show reminded me agn..bring back memories tt i wanted lost..

Opportunities really come and go..u missed it, tts it.. its gone..

Taxi trip hm

2009-02-17T12:20:00.003+08:00

Yest nite, i had an interesting trip hm in a midnite cab..
the uncle was chatting w me all the way.. starting he used chinese..after awhile, he started using hokkien..end up we both interacted in hokkien..haha.. we spoke from Singapore haze to thailand to thaksin to philipines to malaysia to indonesia to suharto to MM Lee..haha

wad an interesting range of topics we discussed..

Gather the forces

2009-02-15T01:04:00.002+08:00

its abt time to gather my feelings, all of it.. find my long lost soul in the past 1 yr..bring them back, and lock them all up in a doorless, windowless room..

its been too long..

its easy for u to say to wish someone sincerely..but its definately not so easy for tt someone..

Su Yong Kang - Ai Yi Ge Ren Hao Nan

你说你还是喜欢孤单
其实你怕被我看穿
你怕属于我们的船，
飘飘荡荡靠不了岸

事到如今没有答案
我的真心为你牵绊
不管相见的夜多么难堪
简简单单的说爱是不爱

想要把你忘记真的好难
思念的痛在我心里纠缠
朝朝暮暮的期盼永远没有答案
为何当初你选择一刀两断
听你说声爱我真的好难
曾经说过的话风吹云散
站在天平的两端一样的为难
唯一的答案
爱一个人好难

蘇永康 - 相遇太早

2009-02-13T18:50:00.001+08:00

當我們再度相視微笑
成熟的心有一點蒼老
許多的傷痛都已經忘掉
記憶裡剩下的全是美好

你我都找到新的依靠
過去對錯已不再重要
只是我們都清楚地知道
心裡還有個劃不完的句號

只怪你和我相愛得太早
對於幸福又了解的太少
於是自私讓愛變成煎熬
付出了所有卻讓彼此想逃跑
上天讓我們相遇得太早
對於緣分卻又給得太少
才讓我們只能陷在回憶中懊惱

你我都找到新的依靠
過去對錯已不再重要
只是我們都清楚地知道
心裡還有個劃不完的句號

只怪你和我相愛得太早
對於幸福又了解的太少
於是自私讓愛變成煎熬
付出了所有卻讓彼此想逃跑
上天讓我們相遇得太早
對於緣分卻又給得太少
才讓我們只能陷在回憶中懊惱

只怪你和我相愛得太早
對於幸福又了解的太少
於是自私讓愛變成煎熬
付出了所有卻讓彼此想逃跑

上天讓我們相遇得太早
對於緣分卻又給得太少
才讓我們只能陷在回憶中懊惱

才讓我們只能陷在回憶中懊惱

vday

2009-02-12T01:19:00.002+08:00

wad do u do on vday when there is no one to go out w?

option 1: go get a bunch of guys to go out together?
option 2: stay hm

nw, option 2 sounds gd..wad for go out n see smth tt u noe u cant get?

genting nw is smth to look forward to.. realized tt recently went alot of oversea trips..haha

cny

2009-02-01T22:46:00.002+08:00

great cny for me..my cny starts not on mon or tue..its from wed till sun..tts the period when my cousin came here to visit from malaysia..brought them go shopping..everywhere we go was sale sale n more sale..been the best time ever spent..i esp love the dinner we had at fish n co.. was a eat n tok cock session..too bad they have to go back.. sometimes i wish they wld all stay at sg..then we can meet up frequently..

gf

2009-01-22T23:04:00.002+08:00

somebody told me tt i treat the idea of gf too seriously..
well, give me a reason not to n i'll give u my reason y yes..

1) if u dun even treat ur gf seriously, then u wld nv treat anybody seriously..
2) if u dun, when r u gg to treat her seriously? when become fiancee?
3) they will nv become ur fiancee if u dun treat them seriously in the first place..
4) wife afterall starts from being gf..

结束忙碌的一天换回熟悉的寂寞
懒懒的躺在沙发上像母亲温暖臂弯
转到昨天的频道让声音驱走寂静
总是同样的剧情
同样的对白同样的空白

是不是这样的夜晚你才会这样的想起我
这样的夜晚适合在电话里
只有几句小心的彼此问候系着两端的猜测
是这样的夜晚想起我 OH

是不是这样的夜晚你才会这样的想起我
这样的夜晚适合在电话里
虽然几句小心的彼此问候现在牵未来的手
是这样的日子需要改变

new yr

2008-12-31T22:59:00.003+08:00

its gonna be a new yr soon.. yr 2009.. soon, it'll be my bday..but tts nt the impt thing

wads on my mind nw..as the day draws closer, is by then, we wld have broke up for a yr..hw fast tis yr has went..hw depressing n sad 2008 was.. its funny y ppl always look toward a new yr..as if it wld realli change hw bad things are..but the thing is: things dun change overnight..its still gonna be goddamn the same.. goddamn it.. no wonder i dun celebrate new yr..except for the off days tt i'm getting..

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear - if it ever ends

it ends for me..n The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

but i cant help myself can i? cld i?

happy new yr

holiday!!

2008-12-22T20:13:00.002+08:00

last last fri went taiwan..shiok..got damn alot of chio bu..c until gt headache..hahha..
but the bad thing is..there is no chio bu on my tour group..n i went w my parents!! goddamn it..my hands was all tied up..cant do much.. went to tour the whole island..nt bad la..food is gd..but i dun dare eat too much..later lau sai!!

well, last sat nite went supper..haha..big happening..tried to help eugenia park her car..but end up reversed into a bike..
let me tell u wad happen
1) i was too tired..taiwan was abit taxing..haha
2) the guy told me gogo reverse
3) tt stupid guy park his bike behind a goddamn big christmas tree.. i looked in the mirror n onli c the christmas tree!! hahh.. when the car hit the bike, i still tot the car scrape the tree!!! kao!! stupid ppl dunno hw to park their bike!!! hahaha..aft tt the driver keep on staring at us!! ahhaha.. i act blur eat my durian..

today first day of work after long holi..broke my specs!! goddamn it..wad a way to start my first day of work and of the wk!! ccb

2008-12-03T21:42:00.000+08:00

sibei sian..one thing i nv regretted was to go for ncc camps..hahha

Interesting Life

2008-11-11T20:34:00.003+08:00

(got tis from somebody's email..nice, so here's the sharing)

Nobody is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Love starts with a smile, grows with a kiss, and ends with a tear.

What do you do when the only person who can make you stop crying is the person who made you cry?

If love isn't a game, why are there so many players?

Good friends are hard to find, harder to leave, and impossible to forget.

The hardest thing to do is watch the one you love, love somebody else.

Don't let the past hold you back, you're missing the good stuff.

A best friend is like a four leaf clover, hard to find and lucky to have.

Life's short. If you don't look around once in a while you might miss it.

Some people make the world special by just being in it.

Best friends are the siblings.

When it hurts to look back, and you're scared to look ahead, you can look beside you and your best friend will be there.

Good friends are like stars....you don't always see them, but you know they are always there.

Don't frown, you never know who is falling in love with your smile.

Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.

If u love something...let it go. If it comes back to you its yours.... If it doesn't then it never was.

A kiss is just a kiss until u find the one you love.
A hug is just a hug until its from the one ur thinking of.
A dream is just a dream until u make it come true.

To realize The value of a sister Ask someone Who doesn't have one.
To realize The value of ten years: Ask a newly Divorced couple.
To realize The value of four years: Ask a graduate.
To realize The value of one year: Ask a student who Has failed a final exam.
To realize The value of nine months: Ask a mother who gave birth to a still born.
To realize The value of one month: Ask a mother who has given birth to A premature baby.
To realize The value of one week: Ask an editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize The value of one hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to Meet.
To realize The value of one minute: Ask a person Who has missed the train, bus or plane.
To realize The value of one-second: Ask a person Who has survived an accident...
To realize The value of one millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics

Time waits for no one.
Treasure every moment you have. You will treasure it even more when you can share it with someone special.

To realize the value of a friend: Lose one.

2008-11-10T21:05:00.002+08:00

frenz hu read my blog says i'm having depression..nw, juz to ensure u all..i'm not!!
haha.. u c my defination of depression is these ppl tends to hurt themselve and commit suicide..since i have neither of those, i'm not depressed..haha
juz v sad only..
wkends have a day..a day has 24 hours..let me tell u hw i spend them..half of them are tinkin of work..the other half is still tinkin of her..tt makes it 12hours!!! haha..

today got off at 5.30pm!! hope to maintain this working hours..hahah.. went to meet her to get a book..well, realli juz to get the book..

last sat has quite a surprise turn out on the events..afternoon realli juz went to buy ice-cream to give my fren whose at work..coincidentally met ys along the way, hu met w my poly mates to watch movie..haha..cant join them cause they already bought the tics ..during tt my NCC frenz jio me go eat dinner..been a long time since i met up w them..ate ma la huo guo..food is so-so..haha..the stupid KTV beside it keeps on repeating the same song over n over agn..kao..

at nite went drinking w my colleague..tis is the best part..was abt to meet them..n ys called.. with the v sian voice..haha..well, understanding him, he dun call juz to chit chat..haha..we're guys man..come on.. well, he told me tt his gf gg double o w a grp of guys..haha..(the day b4 i asked if he wanted to go, he said no!) so i manage to psycho some of my colleague to join us..n we ended up clubbing..haha..wad a day..

?

2008-11-05T21:35:00.003+08:00

dun even noe if she even comes in n read anymore..y do i care?

hmm..mayb i wan her to read, mayb i dun..i tink tts y ppl blog rite?

i've found a new meaning y ppl blog.. cause they wan the other person to noe wad he or she is feeling thru discreet means..damn.

or mayb he or she wans the person aft reading it go fuk himself..or mayb express hw sorry he or she was??

nah..i tink if tts the case, i better go fuk myself..

hey u there!! u sure u 18? cause i dun tink u shld read tis if u're nt..

high

2008-11-05T21:18:00.002+08:00

left work today at 5pm..omg!! to us tts damn early..morning start work at 8am.. normally its from 8am till 8pm.. if we can get to go off at 8pm we do be celebrating..
n today its 5pm!! damn..it feels like eating drugs.. fuking high..

i tink tis is bad..haha..i tink they purosely make u work so long so tt u'll treasure ur time..haha

its pass 9 months on n i'm glad to say tt mayb i've start to let it go.. mayb it wasnt letting go.. it was more like hardening of heart..
well, 'she' told me i did things as a bf as wad her norm frenz wld have done..hmm..thing is, u was my fren b4..u shld noe hw i treat my frenz..its nv even close as to hw i treated u.. nbccb is my trademark..no matter u are a guy or ger, u'll hear it coming from my mouth..its nt show off..its my lingo..haha...a bad choice i noe.. but its gd..it express all the things u wan to say and shorten it.. haha..

well, here's an advice to gers..mayb guys too.. dun compare ur gf or bf w ur frenz.. compare them b4 and after..got wad i mean? haah

i luv work..it keeps u bz most of the time, n the rest of the time, u're juz too tired to tink of other things..one reason y i enjoy working long hours..
u muz be tinking i'm mad..wait till u're heart broken, u'll catch the full understanding of my doing..hahah..sounds like some sage toking..fuk

blogging is for ppl hu have nothin better to do or have too much things to say or juz wanna go fuk everybody ard..

vulgarities shld be made a language!

Rgds
EXIT IF U'RE UNDERAGE

24th

2008-10-24T21:27:00.000+08:00

today is the 24th of the month..n i cant help but rem tis date..

2008-10-22T22:13:00.002+08:00

i'm grateful to my work..for keepin most of my time occupied..

recently nothin much to update..oh ya..ys gt new gf liao..haha..finally.. to tink tt he asked me wad to do to jio her..kao..i only had one b4..haha..

nxt bday coming up..gg older soon..n looks like its gonna be a cold cold bday..hhaha.. hw i wish i cld go USA nw..do a reset on my life..a gd place to go..

budget for these few yrs gonna be constraint..spent more then 1k for the past 6 months..i need new targets..
radar switched on!
scanning mode on!
missle locked on rdy to fire!

the prob is, there is no targets..

ES, work

2008-10-05T19:51:00.002+08:00

came back from my E.S. course..aka Eat shit..haha..actually its nt tt bad la..its juz another form of paperwork..another audit coming soon..haiz..y so many audits sia..haha..

nw is try to calm myself n forget abt the past n look at the present..though tryin my best but once or twice will still get damn emo..afterall, i'm gg for her bday party..dunno wads gg to happen n dun wan to tink abt it..

other than tis hiccup, life is gd..there's nothin else to worry abt..give another month, my main major worry will be gone..been tinkin abt it since july..kao..damn worried abt it..scared..balls shrink man..

my tis kind of attitude is realli best being single..either tt or married..hw can i find one tt can take care of herself n stay by my side always?? rare? or none??

i shld be glad w being single..can juz be myself..dun have to bother abt my gf..dun have to tink of hw to make ppl happy..juz rant my mouth off..if hurt u, say sorry n get on w it..tt was me long time ago..happy go lucky n heck care abt every other body..its time to wear back those old shoes..

tue nite played mahjong..first time lost..n lost 160bucks..kao!! fri nite went to play agn..tis time much better won back 70plus..haha..

consolating all my tots

2008-09-26T17:00:00.002+08:00

the day was 24th September 2008..we cld be celebrating our 3rd if nt for wad happened 8 months ago..bought a small token of gift for her..to show her tt hw impt she is to me..
these 8 months have been a torture to me..

wad i feel..
ur current bf is a guy w many girlfriends..he can choose n like whichever he wants..mayb tt is y u treasure him so much compare to me..whereas for me, i only have u and u r my only one..w/o u i've come to realised the true meaning of heart shattering.. i've lost my sense of direction..no longer have the motivation to move on..my job is hectic, yes..but i make it even so by sinking myself deep into it..
u told me nt to purposely look for one..u can afford to, but nt me..i'm a guy, gers dun come n intro themselves to u..u find them urself..

2 n half yrs ago, when u first got to noe him, he sent u those kind of mussy mussy msgs, he had a gf at tt pt of time..i told u n him to stop contacting each other..but u refused..n cont to do so..i was sad..sad n disappointed..n for the 2 yrs plus i knew he still do tt secretly or wadever..he was like a pain in the ass..trying to snatch everything away from me..like sending flowers, giving u wake up calls..wtf does tis mean? ccb..n the worse thing is, u let him do it.. nw u noe y i dun like him? i was resentful..i was pissed..i so wanted to bash tis guy up..the reason y i din was cause of u..but nw, mayb i shld do it when i go for ur chalet..afterall, he owe it to me..

i dun understand wad happened 8months ago..n cant understand hw u manage to fall so deeply in luv agn juz 2 months later..true, u were sick..aft tt K session, u dun even msg me, dun wan to pick up my calls..n yest u told me tt i din go down, but he did..i mean, u din even want to tell me..u din even tell me anything, hw was i suppose to noe? but u told him..ur sis told him..but nt me!! i asked, u din say..n now u say even if u told me i wun have done it.. i mean, i wasnt even given the chance to redeem myself..

but ya..my fault..my fault..

u told me wad he did when u were sick..ok i admit, i cant have sent u hm everyday..but at least able to for most of the days..but the rest of it..was wad i had tot of..n nw it pains me tt i've resisted myself for nt doing wad my heart tells me..curse n swear..n the pain is even deeper.. n therefore my nick:

when u resisted urself from following ur heart onli to find out later tt it was all n wad she had wanted but it was already too late, wad wld u do?

i only wanted a gd wife hu stays w u thru ur days..tts all i ask..is it realli so hard?
i dun tink u realise hw much the 24th has affected me..hw deep the impact was..hw crashed i am nw..

i'm actually v interested to noe wad will he do when he realli starts work..u mentioned he was gg for aero industry..forgot to tell u..my work hectic does nt onli applies to airforce..but also all throughout..so long as its aero industry..

why am i so sad? the ans is: i've since 8 months ago, officially started work, n began to treasure n understand the real importance of wkends n having a gf..mayb i was greiving for the lost of such a gd ger..

whichever the case, i'm alone nw..n looks like i've juz signed a ROM to singlehood the day we broke up..

u've asked me to go for ur chalet, since u asked, i'll go..dun expect a big present or me to stay..i'll most prob juz appear n disappear, w/o anybody knowing, provided i dun end up in a fight w ur bf..

damn myself

2008-09-25T00:46:00.003+08:00

aft toking to her today..i realised tt i shld have followed my heart! damn..if i had, it wun have ended the way it ended..all the things he did, i hav tot of..but i tot she wun be happy cause of it n will onli hate me...so i din do it..i did asked her where she was when she left the hse..but she refused to pick up my calls n reply me..today she said no matter, even if she did i wun have gone down..well, u din try so u wun noe..but i wld have..if onli i noe..but she's willing to tell another party..another person..but nt me at tt pt of time..
its nt i dun wan to salvage..there was no opportunity left aft tt fateful day..its like all entries are sealed to me n onli to me..

i onli have her..n she is the one i luv the most..regardless of wad she said..it is so..n it has always been so..

she said she made it clear nw tt she has a bf n wun go for another.. it doesnt seem to be the case for me..y!! i am..shattered..

been awhile

2008-09-15T23:11:00.002+08:00

a long time since i came in here.. basically nthin much..last wk was a hectic wk.. gg hm a day later then another.. nw qualified liao..sign own entry..jia lat..new lvl of stress w new lvl of responsibility..

tis wk at ES course aka Eat Shit.. but go there like holi..cause gt long lunch n tea break..then go hm on time..where to find?? but aft the course need to start do es liao..godlike..

well, since my last gf left me, been findin a new one..but of course nt successful..haha.. she's realli damn lucky ger..still constantly tinkin of her..its like wadever i do, first tot will still be of her..
i tink the onli way is either thru few yrs of time whereby my work consumes all my energy or getting a new gf.. the latter sounds abit close to impossible..
i've given up tryin nt to tink of her..the more i try it, the worse it gets..so might as well dun try..

well, tt stupid edwin, dunno wtf he doing..make everybody dun like him nw..but they also funny..say dun like him but still go read his blog!! wtf! ahha..full of mad ppl ard..

u showed me hw caring a gf can be..hw gd having a gf cld be..n nw u took it all away from me aft letting me get a taste of it..nw, its like a virus..

2008-09-02T00:08:00.003+08:00

i dunno y am i still doing so many things for her??

it realli hurts..i dun think u noe hw painful is tt..cause u afterall have a bf nw..but i need to constantly remind myself tt its no use anymore to bring myself back..it realli hurts..

today met her..fixed her comp, put graphic card, help her buy harddisc.. was like tinking, wtf am i doing all these for? shldn't her bf be doing tt?? fuk!!
almost went to grab hold of her hand..was holding back my tears in the bus back..luckily i was able to hold onto wad little rational i have of my mind..

2008-08-21T18:19:00.000+08:00

tis yr is nt a gd yr..

Girls

2008-08-17T17:43:00.003+08:00

Well here's a trade off

Men:
They will nv change..

but isnt tt gd?? then u noe from the start hw we are!!

Gers:
They are constantly changing!!

nw tis is bad..haha..u dun realli understand wad they doing..or wad they tinking..
i've given up on bgr..nt my game..

parade parade

2008-08-13T09:39:00.002+08:00

well..wad can i say..kena the stupid parade for 40th anni..wad can be more suay??? its a waste time thing man..i wun be getting anything new from there..cause i used to organise parade myself n all the commands all the drills its already in my blood..so its totally waste of time.. i rather be at my work place working..more productive..
if wan let me be parade commander lor..hahaha

these few days ar..realise some happening things gg on..he likes her, she dun like him, one trying to get in the other trying to get out..haha.. interesting.. nice show to watch..

Money Not enuff

2008-08-02T11:54:00.003+08:00

yest nite watched money nt enuff 2.. a v meaningful show..shows facts of life...though its a comedy, though ppl laughed their heads off during the show..but, deep inside, all will noe hw true it is.. one part which i find it meaninful

hu is the poorest? when u have no money in ur bank?
no.. its when during times when u needed support..or juz any moment, u realise tt ur loved one is nt by ur side..to shower u w love n care..or when u have no loved one right beside u.. tt is the poorest man in the world..

missing someone

2008-07-31T22:01:00.002+08:00

another tot juz came to my mind..

-why a couple aft a failed r/s, one party will miss the other so much? When b4, they were juz norm frenz..whom if can meet up then gd, if nt then nvm kind of mentality

notice i did nt put both party..cause i believe tt if it is gonna be both party, they wld miss each other so much tt they will patch back agn..so if they din, it means its onli a one sided pt of view.. like myself..or so i believe..hu can ans tis question? feel free to comment..

Priorities

2008-07-31T21:55:00.003+08:00

In life, there are many priorities..i tink the most common one n one tt i've decided is tis:

- Family before Career
- Career before gf

by family, i meant ur wife, ur children, ur bros, ur sis, ur parents..

tis is the most rational thinking..bf n gf is so call unstable..dunno when's gonna break or when smth gonna go wrong..its still the so-called trial period.. if u commit so much but ur returns is nil, then its nt worth it.. true tt ur wife begins as a gf..but..its unknown
YES, u can put in some effort for ur gf..but dun max it out..she hasn't agree to spend the rest of her life w u..until then, keep it min..if she cant understand, then she hasn't grown up..

however, for ur wife, tts diff..signed sealed n delievered.. (though can divorce too) but she's gonna spend the rest of her life w u..so most of ur care can be on her..
i wld say its a diff perspective for diff position in ur r/s n ur life..

2008-07-31T11:38:00.000+08:00

上天不复有心人

i've witness an actual life example..

2008-07-30T01:37:00.002+08:00

today read on the news..ICA officers are understaffed and overworked..
report says tt they work long hours, odd working days..
sounds familier??
sounds like my job too..
there is a high number of ppl quiting tt job nw..
reasons are v simple, gf, or wife, or husband.. mostly i wld believe is gf or wife..cause i dunno y but i tink they dun realli understand the situation..i tink u can read my previous few posts..its all written there why n all..

seems like a norm n problem all regulars faced..or rather all civil servants faced..sad..but true.. gers nowadays..i dunno wad to say..its always the guys giving in but nv once was the ger..

clubbing

2008-07-27T19:48:00.003+08:00

went to apply for credit card..haha..yest went zouk..goddamn sausage party..gt a few nt bad one.. but mostly like older leh..haha.. some making out on the spot..some dance until like wan to take each other clothes off..kao..

psps..2nd time went clubbing onli..saw somebody i knew while i was looking for toilet..haha.. aft some chit chat i asked her..she was shocked..n cldn't believe tt i onli went clubbing twice..haha.. so unbelieveable meh?? i v guai one..haha..dun vomit..

last wk

2008-07-21T23:40:00.003+08:00

hmm..lets c wad happened last wkend..nothin much actually..juz tt i'm still constantly tinking of her..damn..plus the loan car thingy..shit..it is damn depressing..
sometimes someday i realli wished i cld have a gf to tok to..u noe..complain abt things..etc..

well, she told me last wk tt, when we broke up, we cld have gt back together agn if i had done smth during the 'trial period' or so i called it..i tink i noe tt..but y i din do anything? i tink it boils down to myself..i've given up on myself..i tot all hope was lost..n i cant do anything more..so i juz stand aside n watched a 2 yrs foundation juz collapse..BOOM!! all gone..
being frenz aft a break up is nv the same as being frenz b4..
come to think of it..we nv went out once for a movie or dinner or wad b4 we started our r/s..
i cant send her hm everyday like her current bf did..but i cant do tt is nt because i'm out w some other frenz havocing..nt like some fren's bf tt i noe of..i was juz gg hm for my dinner w my family..
she called me mummy's boy..well, i guess so..but then agn..hw many mom's do u have in ur life? n hw long ur mom gonna be w u? if its nt unreasonable, its gd to juz listen once or twice..plus i'm the eldest, my bro is onli 12..n i'm a regular..no wonder she breaks up w me..too much things too little time..no surprises y SAF has the highest divorce rate..
her blog has stopped..the last post abt her current bf was like someone frm heaven.. i on the otherhand since day 1 did nt get such compliments.. i supposed its common, normal, n i shld get used to it..
but y is my blog still obsessed w her?

STOP!!
DAMN!

sat nothing much..my fren woke me up twice frm my slp..early in the morning..afternoon asked me acc her do hair..well, lookin on the fact tt she is on rocky terms w her bf, i agreed.. at least at nite got to play mahjong..gd enuff..

sun, stupid edwin organise wad doreen bday..he himself wan to meet her come pull us all in.. then say:'no la, i nv intend to jio her' kao!! 睁眼说瞎话!! damn irritating..buay tahan..heng i nv go..booked tics for Red Cliff..show is okie la..abit lame..

nxt time i'll have to watch movie myself..or get from external sources liao..

today work: stupid asshole encik..first day c him go work..kpkb..like as if do alot..knn

jia lat..these few months the 'fire gas' is hotter..

2008-07-18T00:14:00.002+08:00

there are times where i was most vulnerable but there was no one to turn to..nobody actually noes..nt even her when we were together as she cldn't be reached..i managed to cool myself down aft it..

there were times where she was most vulnerable, but there was no one to turn to..nt even me..

today went out w her..tok abt the past..there is no right or wrong..onli excuese now..mine, her's..

taking the bus ride home..i was wondering hw i managed to let smth so precious n the onli one slip thru my fingers..

i finally understand..it was nt she hu broke up w me..
it was I. I hu gave up hope on myself..to let things collapse ard me..for the gd of her..so tt she wun be sadden agn by me
I, am the culprit

2008-07-17T13:44:00.002+08:00

some pts i left out in the previous few post

-nv promise someone unless u're v v v v v v super duper sure it can be done..esp when u promise smth of the future, where anything can happen..although the person noe at tt point of time u're juz trying to calm things down n the possibility is actually quite high..if u broke ur promise, it will hurt the other party..more or less.. i.e. like me..

2nd point..most impt: NV EAT N SHIT AT THE SAME PLACE

Conclusion

2008-07-14T19:34:00.002+08:00

being in a bgr always have certain problems..esp for regulars like me... even my encik n his wife has some disagreements due to work too..imagine..a 50 yr old guy still can quarrel cause of work..

so

conclusion:

gers nowadays expect too much..
it is realli hard to find someone hu will understand tt regulars like us have a v diff job scope and responsibilities that we need to carry..(ya well, they tell u:' ya we understand' then a few months later ran off w another guy) its a norm..
i mean..come on, for wad u get so angry w us for? we meet u every possible time..n its nt like as if we went somewhere to play golf or wad..we're in our workplace working for god's sake..w a whole bunch of guys i might add..
aft work we rush to meet u..sometimes leaving lots of things behind for the others to clear juz to meet u..so much effort put in..so much strings pulled..n yet...haiz

however, its nt all gers tt are like tis..there are still some..but rare..v super duper rare..i tink i onli noe of one..

tt is also y, divorce rate is high here..
to find one stable one..its like..lookin for a needle in the ocean..
some like to play..but i dun..i always believe in smth called principals.. dun do things to others when u dun wan it to happen to u..
so i'm onli lookin for stable ones..u noe..those tt have future prospect..i dun mind tuning in to suit her but she need to understand tt some things are beyond my control..n somethings cant be helped..

i tink tis kind is extinct?? endangered? i dunno..
there's always hope..
but i tink i better keep none to myself..

Policies of Life (cont from long long ago post)

2008-07-12T22:26:00.003+08:00

1) When there's an opportunity, grab it. cause it may be ur only chance in ur life. Regretting is too late and pointless.
2) To survive, u muz be quick to adept to changes
3) If you are being backstab, dun feel sad or angry, for it will not solve the problem. Thank that person sincerely for u have learnt a valuable lesson of life and next time, cover your back.
4) Never put all your eggs in one basket
5) Dun owe anybody money, it will become a habit
6) Money can turn frenz to enemy, enemy to frenz, n even destroy a family

7) Never fear ur enemy, cause they are ur best friend. Instead, fear ur best friend, they might turn out to be ur worst nightmare. 家贼难防
8) First impression always counts
9) Not telling all the truth doesn't mean being dishonest.
10) Endurance is a test, to overcome it is a quest
11) Smart is enuff, dun act smart
12) If a person doesn't love or care for you in your opinion, doesn't mean that that person doesn't care for u with all his/her heart

13) Life can never be interesting unless u make it so
14) 不怕意外，只怕万一
15) It's always better to have it n dun need it, then to need it n dun have it
16) Always look on the bright side of life
17) Life is unfair, it was never fair. Live with it
18) 不怕虎生三口，只怕人怀二心
19) Assumption is the mother of all fuk-ups
20) Murphy's Law: Anything tt can go wrong, WILL go wrong
21) Put yourself in other ppl's shoe b4 doing smth
22) Dun do smth to other ppl when u do nt wan it to happen to urself

23) Its always gd to plan ahead. So tt u can have a direction to go towards
24) Opinions from others might be valuable, but not all are applicable.
25) Your future is in ur own hands. To blame it on fate is an irresponsible excuse
26) Write a set of values and paste it on the wall, recap on it frequently so tt u noe where u stand

wkend burn

2008-07-12T16:15:00.003+08:00

its SAT!! n i juz came back from work!! imagine!! kao..

tmr gg cycling agn..looks like we're gg to have some healthy lifestyle finally..
its been a tired week man..
been a long long time since i read any newspaper..so..wads happening??
haha

so many things feel like doing..find some place chill..best w alcoholic drinks..play mahjong.. pool.. swimming..woo..so many..haha

cheerful

2008-07-11T22:19:00.002+08:00

i tink recently, i've become v cheerful..n back to my old happy go lucky way..finally..accepting the fact tt its over..

nite shift

2008-07-11T00:42:00.001+08:00

woohoo..tis wk nite shift everyday take cab home..kao..
but gd thing is..my shift start at 5pm..worked till 2am..
but those morning shift ar..start at 8am..9pm still there..hahaha
heng..

the way is shut

2008-07-08T12:18:00.001+08:00

slowly, but surely, moving out of ur life..

the way is shut..

long ago i was no longer part of ur life..time to pack up n go..

enuff being said..

enuff action taken

enuff evidence upfront

the time has come

ton

2008-07-06T20:28:00.002+08:00

well..yest went watch some black knights..w some fireworks..aft tt went for K session..till 4am!! waited for first train back till 6.30..

old liao..haha..cannot take it liao..come back slp frm 7 to 5 man..omg..haha
been a long time since i stayed up for the whole nite

cycling

2008-06-30T20:04:00.005+08:00

woohoo..sun went cycling..sat went play badminton..

nw..lets tok abt sat first..damn happening..play badminton..nothin much..aft tt i gt one fren ask me acc her till her bf is free..kao..speakin of spare tyres..haha
anw, i was hungry..n since she wan to stay at west mall, which is juz beside my block..of coz i agreed..damn..since when gt ger come bukit batok find me!!! nt even my ex man..(ok..she did..once or twice) but anw, we went to tis chi restaurant to eat..haha..i being a big hungry wolf, ordered like dunno hw many plates of food..she wasn't tt hungry..but agreed to tag along..haha.. well, if she dun, she'll be alone..haha
when the food finally arrived, the eyes tt shine the brightest was nt mine..i was down there laughing till my side ache..she looks like some cave women..nv see food b4..haha..well, i din expect the quantity to be so much..nt my fault tt i wan to waste food..
aft we finished, here's the 2nd best part..she din report strength..until when her bf msged her tt his at WM too!! i was rather surprised her bf din called when he realised they were at the same building..
so nvm, she told him where we were..
n guess wad..he came n find us..but he stand outside at the counter there looking into the restaurant..instead of coming in..instead, he msged her:' i'm nw at 2nd floor too..'
kao!! i already saw him..so i tell my fren of coz..but she told me to act blur..tink they playing some kind of ignoring game..haha..
so when he finally came in, i can sense some kind of thunderstorm brewing..haha..i act blur, drink my tea..haha..he was suppose to help her book some tics but he din..so i tink u all shld noe wads the end result..
aft he left, he msged her something..some strong vinegar smell came out of the msged..haha..well, cant blame him..hw wld u feel if ur gf/bf go one on one lunch outing w another guy/ger..haha..hey, nt as if i dun wan to call other ppl..is i lazy..
aft tt, we took a walk ard to waste time..till her bf go hm change n come out..nw, here's the best part.. we passed by tis wedding agency roadshow..this promoter jumped in front of us..n by jumped i do nt mean literally..i meant physically jumped in frnt of us..n ask if we wan a pakage..i use my max evasive action to siam them..haha..but she wanted to check out some family potrait stuff..so we went back..aft tt was done, the promoter introduce her the marriage pakage stuff..i was mistaken as her bf..kao..cant they c we sit so far apart..anw, i tot she wld onli juz listen..but guess wad, she signed it..straight on the spot..a 3k+ pakage..juz like tt..haha
i kena stun there..haha
tis wkend is the most happening man..haha
i tink the cyclin one will have to post on another topic..haha

hum tio

2008-06-24T21:07:00.003+08:00

alot of things on my mind nw.. stress..
some v serious fault tt i committed..i gt no one to turn to..nobody to share w..onli to keep to myself..
nw i realli feel the pinch..tis stone in my heart..wa fuk
balls shrink..
fuking hell..cb cb cb cb

2008-06-24T20:19:00.001+08:00

songs do realli explains ur feelings..

last time

2008-06-18T22:48:00.002+08:00

i rem the times..when u were juz slping in my arms..
i rem the times..when u plant kisses on me
i rem the times..when we used to hug tightly

i rem once..when i was sick..u sent me to bukit batok mrt..its the once, n onli time which u so call send me home.. twice u waited for me at my hse when i juz got back from work to change..

i rem tt when we first broke up, it was near my block..at a stair..
the 2nd time we broke up, when u called, i was at my hse letter box..u asked to take back wadever u said..i agreed..
the third time..was at ur place..though tt was nt official..aft 2 days of silence, u suddenly sent me a notice..

nw i'm tryin to study for my exam tmr..damn impt exam..but i cant..ur face is blocking the screen..tinkin back on hw i manage to lost someone so dear..
u said u wld be jealous if i had a gf nw..but y? u seem happy w ur current one nw..sent u hm everyday..wads there to be jealous of?
ur blog entry abt him is as if he is super good..someone god sent..while all the entries abt me are all complains..hahah..jealous? does it have a diff meaning?

last time..if we cld all be drunk in last time..life wld be gd..

last time
last time policeman wear shorts

endure

2008-06-13T20:34:00.002+08:00

u noe wad is the worse feeling?
its when u have the enuff money to buy a car n u noe u dun have the need but u realli wan it..
kao

muz endure..at least until i have a gf..then at least it wld be more worth it..n i can fetch her wherever she is..
or until i finish detechment..
kao..
endure
endure
lun!!!!

car!! goddamn it..can someone buy me one? haha

knn

2008-06-08T20:40:00.002+08:00

yest my neighbour kena splashed red paint for smth they nv do.. this previous fuking owner hu stayed at unit 600 loan money frm loan shark n did nt return.. they came and splash paint on the new owner..we already reported to the police serveral times but looks like the police onli eat n slp... nw, the same unit loaned the money, but nw the ah long come n splash paint on another neighbour staying at unit 608..wtf..

tis fuker..knn..ccb..if u wan to ask for debt return y splash paint? go knock on the goddamn door u cb kia.. mine is juz nxt to theirs..dunno when will kena..
knn..if let me catch tis motherfuker, i'm gonna tear off his balls n smash his cock until it become ba chow.. then i'll use his paint n pour over his head..u cb kia..

so i say, the gov shld put a law..catch those tt borrow money from loan sharks..be it guys or ger, canning.. guys will have 12 strokes, females half price.. jail term of min 10yrs.. c hu still dare to go borrow.. those ah long..once caught, canned 6 strokes then go hang.. c hu still dare to do it.. knn mother fukers.. ccb.. all these ppl, gt proper job dun wan to do..then go borrow money frm ah long, say gov nv take care..u cb..gt leg gt hands dunno hw to go out find work..be a cleaner also get paid..u all r fuking lazy bastards..worse then animals..

2008-06-06T00:04:00.001+08:00

i find myself laugh alot these few days.. i called my ex n was like laughing all the way.. haha well..it was either i laugh or cry..choose one.. life is all abt choices..so i told myself..better to choose laugh then cry.. laugh everything off.. its gd..

some of my frenz are tellin me go get a gf!! kao..i juz broke up..though she already found one..but tts beside the pt..haha
i noe wad they meant..when i have a gf, i was more tone down..nw..kao..knnbccb is my starting word..back to old self

累了啦

2008-06-05T20:41:00.002+08:00

dun u on some of the days suddenly tot of ur life??
tinking of hw many mistakes u made
hw to please ur gf/bf or frenz ard u..
hw come u broke up w ur ex?
hw many close shaves tt u have?
wad things to buy?
hw to save up?
hw to satisfy all parties
if u're working, u have even more..u'll tink of the ways to survive at ur work place..
hw nt to get ur boss angry..
hw to please ur boss..
hw to please ur colleagues..
then u tink of hw to aviod mistakes in the future..
wad are ur future prospects,
wad other roads u have,
wad are ur dreams? are u able to fulfil it..

then dun u find tt..suddenly all ur life energy is drained away from u..like someone juz suck it all off..n u juz feel..tired..pure tired..u juz wanna lie on ur bed..play some music in the background..but no song is gg thru..or juz lie in silence..staring at the ceiling..counting the number of holes..n ur mind is juz blank..u juz wanna for once do absolutely nothing.. n wonder hw wonderful life wld be if it is like tis all the while.. all ur fighting spirit gone..
during tis time it means 你累了啦, 真的累了。

today is the day

Cause sometimes you just feel tired.You feel weak and when you feel weak you feel like you wanna just give up.But you gotta search within you, you gotta find that inner strength and just pull that shit out of you and get that motivation to not give up and not be a quitter, no matter how bad you wanna just fall flat on your face and collapse.

but its okie to juz collapse for juz awhile

slack

2008-06-03T19:55:00.002+08:00

test coming up..jia lat..dunno hw..long long long time nv study liao..tis time ard gt no tips..

well..today quite slack..from 7.30am to 5pm nothing to do..shake leg tok cock all the way.. heng i go study abit..at least nv waste..erm..nv waste all the time la..haha

high tide coming in soon..

critisim

2008-06-01T23:36:00.002+08:00

hw come there are so many things critising the guys..blogs, newspaper, entires, wadever..guys doing tis la..guys nt appreciating la..guys cheating la..hw come there is so little of such things abt gers???
if u're a ger, u wld most prob be tinkin rite nw:' cause there is nearly none' well, ladies, i believe its time to wake up!! mayb 10yrs ago, i wld have agreed w u..however, w tis new world..it is changing..nw it is quite the opposite..
regarding y there is so little entries abt gers, reason is v simple.. well those critisim abt guys are written by hu? gers..
so, a critisim abt gers wld be written by guys.. but then agn, which guy wld realli wan to go n offend the gers?? practically none..so they rather swallow everything to themselves..only during their guys talk, then everything will spill out.. mayb someday a ger shld sit in?? listen to all the shits tt we tok..haha..
anw, back to the pt where nobody wan to offend too much gers..it makes me wonder, shld i? or shld i juz follow the norm? the ladies in our country is being pampered..by their parents, by our nation.. yes, they do need the extra protection..but they are taking it for granted..n more n more are being arrogant..take smoking for example..i believe i do nt have to elaborate on tt pt..

do nt because of ur one failed relationship u start saying all guys are bastards, all guys are cheaters, etc, etc

i noe i noe, the kettle calling the pot black..or isit the other way round?

wad i wan to bring across is tt, cheating is nt only the 'guy' thing.. gers ard u are doing it..ask ard..u'll be surprise at the numbers.. i noe the saddest thing is ur other party cheated on u.. or, soon aft u broke up in a few yrs long r/s, he or she gets a new bf or gf, while u are here, crying ur heart out..wondering wad gone wrong..wondering if there ever cld be another chance..wondering if u cld go back in time..
Makes u wonder during tt few yrs when u were 2gether, was u ever in his/her heart..or was everything juz for show..i noe i noe..i get tis kind of feeling too..still getting nw..it feels shitty n it definetly smells like shit..

i noe..mayb last time i was indeed somewhere in my ex heart..juz tt aft we broke up, she gt over it faster..like wad i said, virgin is always the hardest..gets easier on subsequent time..or at least so i tink..

but then agn, hu am i to judge? i dunno wad she tink n she dunno hw i feels.. no 2body in tis world can actually exactly noe wad the other party is thinking or feeling, tts y 'X-men' is a fantasy..so u tink u noe wad the other party is thinking..sometimes u got it rite, sometimes no..

well, nw she has a new bf, n i'm the one still here tinking of her..she probably dun even care abt me anymore..mayb 'care' is a word too harsh.. lets change it to 'think'.
awww come on, ppl have a new bf, u expect her to still tink of u constantly? get over it dude.. 'ouch!'
but yet here i am still tinking of her constantly..wad the hell am i doing..

2008-05-31T22:23:00.002+08:00

well..today quite interesting..was taking a afternoon nap..kena woken up by somebody calling me..out of the blue, suddenly ask me go orchard nw..kao..haha
there's smth tis person said:' all guys are bastards..only cherish when things are gone' though the words coming from someone hu is currently attached..mayb its a sign..or it has hidden meanings..haha..mayb she said it cause she's piss?? cool down..relax

anw, i tink she's rite..guys realli only treasure the things they had once they were gone..take me for eg. nt tt i din treasure her, mind u..but mayb it was nt enuff..nw when its gone, then try to treasure wad is lost..abit late rite? haiz..

its too late..to apologise..its too late..

however, its nt all the guys la..haha..there are still some..small but still got..haha
hope prevails

well..at least u noe tt u tried ur best in a r/s..then u can at least slp at nite..
i tink the first ever r/s is the worst..somemore at tis kinda of age..i tink when u have like 5 or 6, it became more easier to forget all abt it..

but nt to worry..i'm working OT on it..

tis entry is a neutral entry..no hidden meaning or wadsoever, if the sentence has 2 meaning, i meant the nicer one..hahah

2008-05-29T22:42:00.002+08:00

well..i've been quite bz these few days..actually nt so bz.. i made myself bz..
gd pt is tt i've stop tinking abt her..or at least nt as much as last time..mayb once every hr? its gd compare to last time every sec..so it gives me hope tt mayb i can forget abt things
however, it suddenly comes to strike me today tt..i noe she had an external affair b4..i asked her hu and when..but i missed out the most impt question..why? mayb i shld ask her some day.. some fine day..something i cant understand, which i spend the whole day thinking..when someone did tis kind of thing to u b4, u shld be hating it rite? nt trying to do tt to others? tts where i dun understand..hmm..juz my life..or juz my luck

goddamnit, y is my whole blog revolving ard her??? its been 4 months plus le..forget it, ppl say.. find new one, my suck cock buddy says..all i can say is, its easier said then done

nw, lets tok abt work..fuking hell..tt stupid guy keep on stir shit..anyhow stir..kao!! we sometimes also need their help one wad..dun need do until like tt wad fuk..ppl ask u help then if u can help lor..if cannot then say cannot lar fuk..
then gt manual for u to follow, u take short cut..aft tt ask me wad we did..among ourselve of course i tell u wad we actually did la..fuk..then u come kan me for wad fuk..its nt as if the QC is coming or wad..of coz QC come or external sources confirm tell them do the rite way la..cb..
nowadays v sian..so many problems..hw i wish those tt went for excercise are back..they are indeed the elite..leave all these buggers behind..dun wan follow manual then ask ppl cover up together w u..wtf.. it doesn't hurt to follow wad..it'll make u slp peacefully 2nite also..its true tt no matter hw many gd u do, its useless..fuk, keep on marking me..dun make me shout at u..until then u'll c a totally diff person..ccb..i'll treat u like a fuking cadet..no matter ur rank..dun test my patience

all these trouble, nobody to tell..nobody else to share..all by myself..no wonder my temper is so bad

i'm so lonely, i'm so lonely, alll on my own..oWWnnnnn

2008-05-27T23:19:00.001+08:00

sibei sian..today quarrelled w my mom..fuking hell wtf is wrong man..

guess these few days realli realli bad mood..need to cool down man..more work is needed..

i'm sorry

2008-05-25T16:46:00.002+08:00

if u happen to read tis..i'm here to say i'm sorry.. tis blog has said sometings tt shld nt be said.. my blog might say u're bad women..but my blog also says i'm the bad guy..n my blog also says tt u're gd too..dun onli pick on the bad

i read ur blog serveral times..have some confidence in urself..wads w u tinking tt u're ugly, bad etc.. i find u the most beautiful among many..i wld rate u as above average..i dun wish to say 'i tink ur current bf wld tink so too'..but tts the truth

i thank u for being my first gf..for showin me wad does being in a r/s taste like..though we have our ups n downs n it ended the way nt i wanted it to n heard things i dun like, most of the times i find myself v happy being w u..

well, there are quite a number of my frenz hu told me tt u're v pretty..tt ur eyes muz have been blindfolded or muz have been given some drug to be gg out w me..c hw pretty u r..

i dunno much abt ur new bf darren..i onli saw him once..my impression on him was nt gd..cant blame me on tt though..he was trying to snatch u away was hw i first knew him..ask him hw he wld be feeling if some other guy comes n try to snatch u away now..
i tink u noe wad u're doing..my opinions on him will all be negative..so no pt pointing out..

juz wanna tell u gd luck, take care, n keep in contact.. tts all

-

2008-05-25T07:44:00.005+08:00

now..hu said tt aft a relationship, the guys always get over it faster then the gers?? i am here to prove them wrong
hu said tt guys are always the one playing w ppl heart???
tts sterotyping
out of 10 couples i noe..7 of them broke up recently due to the ger having external affairs..wad has the world become..

i have one whole nite to tink it thru..n i realise tt nt onli have i nt been able to let it go..let alone forget..but nw, i'm scared of a relationship..realli scared..scared i will disappoint the ger..scared she will run away..

nw..toking abt sad life..i have onli 26 females contact..6 from airforce..10 from ncc..half of the rest i dun contact anymore..wad a life..

everyday nw is wake up, work, home, slp..tts for mon to fri.. for sat n sun nw is wake up eat, slp, eat slp...phone doesn't ring even once in the whole wk..mayb i shld go cancel my plan.. nobody actually cares abt me..well, aft we broke up, there was an immediate flood of msg from ppl out to woo her..me? a sudden silence in the phone..feel like throwing the phone away..nw my phone is nt a phone..its nw called MP3 player..
at first tot still gt my ex to watch movie w..nw is totally none..missed alot of show these few months..
i still have the urge to msg her..cant resist tis urge..i dunno y..its time to use all force to resist tis urge..the nxt day which i blogged will be the day i lost to the urge..

come on man..wad was i tinking..i'm a guy..u expect ppl to treat u like wad ur ex did? ask u to eat, greet u morning..which fukin ger wld do tt? wake up ur bloody idea..

WHOLE LIFE WASTED

陈小春 - 我爱的人

2008-05-24T22:49:00.002+08:00

我知道故事不会太曲折
我总会遇见一个什么人
陪我过没有了她的人生
成家立业之类的等等

她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深

我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

她做了她觉得对的选择
我只好祝福她真的对了
爱不到我最想要爱的人
谁还能要我怎样呢

我爱的人不是我的爱人
她心里每一寸都属于另一个人
她真幸福幸福得真残忍
让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深

我爱的人她已有了爱人
从他们的眼神说明了我不可能
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声
每当听见她或他说「我们」
就像听见爱情永恒的嘲笑声

*tis song n the song playing nw..the one playing nw lyrics is below..

草蜢 - 宝贝对不起

2008-05-24T22:17:00.001+08:00

怕你多情怕你多情怕我不忍心
雨下不停雨下不停心情也不定

一千朵玫瑰给你要你好好爱自己
一万万句对不起离开你是不得以

宝贝对不起不是不疼你
真的不愿意又让你哭泣
宝贝对不起不是不爱你
我也不愿意又让你伤心
让我相信让我相信你会好好的
不必约定不必约定也不会忘记

一千颗真心给你你不要沉默不语
一万万句我爱你我一定会来看你
宝贝对不起不是不疼你
真的不愿意又让你哭泣
宝贝对不起不是不爱你
我也不愿意又让你伤心

宝贝对不起不是不疼你
真的不愿意又让你哭泣
宝贝对不起不是不爱你
我也不愿意又让你伤心

宝贝对不起不是不疼你
真的不愿意又让你哭泣
宝贝对不起不是不爱你
我也不愿意又让你伤心

怕你多情怕你多情怕我不忍心
雨下不停雨下不停心情也不定
让我相信让我相信你会好好的
不必约定不必约定也不会忘记

lost love

2008-05-24T22:15:00.004+08:00

u're always surrounded by love..by alot of ppl hu love u..onli u din realise it..

me on the other hand dun have the luxury..i'm always abandoned..haiz..haha
wth

y do i still keep things of the past? pics in my wallet, my hp, my comp, my friendster..y do i still keep the ring? y do i still bring it w me even? so many y..hopefully now knowing tt she has a new bf i can let go..stupid of me to tink of patching back..mayb tts y it still hurts.. mayb its cause its my error..n somebody up there is making damn sure i pay it back..

she asked if i was ok..hw cld i tell her the truth?? of coz i'll let her noe is yes..
let me cry quietly into the nite..the forgotten..the unforgivable..let it be.. somethings change..
somethings dun..some ppl moved on..some juz dun..
damn i need a carton of beer

sadded

2008-05-24T21:08:00.001+08:00

i'll be damn if i say tt aft i noe she have a new bf i dun have any feelings..i am fuking sad..damn sad..

today marks 4 months of break up of 29th month of relationship